Today is Memorial Day. Originally known as Decoration Day, this day of remembrance began as an observation held for the soldiers that died in the Civil War. According to the sources I read, there are various places in the nation that lay claim to initiating the practice of honoring war dead that became the holiday we now know as Memorial Day.
There are references to people in places, both in the north and south, honoring fallen soldiers. In one instance, a woman reportedly decorated the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers alike in Jackson, MS in April of 1865. Another account mentions observances and graveside memorials in Gettysburg and Boalsburg, PA, in 1863 and 1865 respectively. Yet more accounts lay claim to remembrances in 1866, again in locations both in the north and south. Another account, one I find especially poignant, is one of the earliest observances held by newly freed African Americans in Charleston, SC in 1865 after the Civil War ended. They reportedly exhumed Union soldiers who were buried in a local mass grave prior to the war’s end, properly interred them, decorated their graves with flowers and held a large parade to honor those lost in the war.
Ultimately, it is Waterloo, NY that is granted the honor of being the birthplace of Memorial Day, née Decoration Day, in May of 1866. They are credited with being the first to institute an annual day of observance, with decorations placed on the graves of the fallen, the entire community marking the day and all local businesses closing in recognition of the somber occasion. What began as an observance of Civil War dead in various places, grew to be a national occasion that now includes soldiers lost in combat in WWI, WWII, The Korean War, Vietnam, the Gulf War conflicts and actions in Afghanistan. Regardless of who receives the credit for it, this holiday is important and unfortunately, in my opinion, regrettably overlooked and unappreciated.
Can it be a great day to fire up the grill, hit the pool, or head to the beach on what is generally seen as the kickoff to summer? Weather providing, and if the rain holds off, it usually is. Can you score a great deal on tools, electronics, clothes or any of the numerous retail items receiving deep discounts timed to coincide with the holiday? Well, you sure can! You may even get some of (in a booming, reverb-filled TV voiceover) ‘the best prices of the year!’ on a shiny new vehicle if you decide to take a trip down to your local dealership and see what they’re offering. Are any of the above activities wrong or evil? No, they aren’t. It just seems that as a nation most of us are going about the day and just seizing a desirable day off for some leisure. Some years ago, Chris Rock made a joke about 9/11 as guest host on SNL. Some in the crowd grew uptight, or groaned in disapproval but I honestly think he nailed an uncomfortable truth about the psyche of a good portion of our nation. I don’t believe that everyone has forgotten Memorial Day’s purpose, especially not the families with enlisted members who could be called to risk their lives, or those who have lost family in action. It does feel like a lot of us have, though.
Look, I’m not faultless here. I am one of the guilty who has not given this day its proper honor and the somber reflection and recognition it deserves. I’ve had many years where I’ve thoughtlessly planned for the time off, checked the sale prices to grab a steal, stocked up on an assortment of meats to grill and then stuffed myself like it’s Thanksgiving in May. Yet, as I’ve grown older, the solemnity of a total stranger signing up, becoming “property of the US Armed forces”, enduring grueling training to become a deadly weapon for our nation’s offense and defense, and then losing their lives in the bargain for others, including me, weighs a lot more. Is it the passage of time, knowing I’m closer to death myself and realizing that those men and women met their end much earlier than I have, or will, because of their willingness to serve? Is it a tinge of guilt for being unwilling to enlist and serve our nation, while someone else did and died? Yeah, I think that is a large part of it. Maybe that’s most of it. Maybe there’s more. Maybe that’s all of it.
As a nation, it seems that a much smaller pocket of us serve, or are connected to those that do, or did. That appears to breed a dismissal of military service in general, and the loss of our soldiers’ lives in particular. So many of us casually paint military service as an undesirable last chance for those not equipped for college, instead of the brave choice to serve the nation that it is. That low valuation of our enlisted folks seems to breed an air of disposability in some of us civvies.
I remember having conversations years ago when President George W. Bush, aka Dubya, aka Bush 43, sent ground forces into Iraq under false pretenses. I was immediately suspicious of his claims to invade Iraq, despite the cavalcade of people vouching for it; Rice, Powell, Rumsfeld, and his sneering VP Dick Cheney. After it became clear that the pretext for war was, at the very least insubstantial and more likely a willful obfuscation, I was alarmed that men and women who enlisted were needlessly placed in harm’s way. I had discussions about this with others, noting that young people in the prime of their lives, young people who trusted their President and Commander in Chief, were being killed and the reasons that put them there were trumped up. In a number of those conversations, I remember people remarking, “Well, that’s what they signed up for.” That’s what they signed up for?! To be placed in danger when the circumstances didn’t warrant it, get injured or killed on the foreign policy equivalent of, “oops?” No, I disagree. Vehemently. They signed up to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, and the collection of States that document governs.
I didn’t grow up with family in the military. We had one family friend who served in Vietnam. I later married into a family with a legacy of military service. Then, a few years after that, I had a cousin join a branch of our military. Maybe that makes it more personal, or quite possibly age and maturity could have shaped my thinking to where it is now, even without those life changes. Having said all of that, those family members are dear to me and other people’s family members are dear to them. They have other roles, in addition to being soldiers, whether as parents, children, guardians or mentors. Their lives are valuable and they are worth more than fodder to be chewed up and consumed whenever old men who can no longer serve, never served or who ducked service when called by using their privileged connections, decide they want to look brave or tough. Memorial Day is for the fallen and it is too late now to tell those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our nation thank you. However, we can reflect, consider and be honestly circumspect and thankful, not just give a thoughtless utterance of what is now becoming a perfunctory statement; “We thank them for their service.” By all means, grill, shop deals if you must but let’s at least take some portion of the day to reflect, pause and consider what has been given to us who still live, by other people that died, many of them total strangers.
There are different ways to observe today; decorating a service member’s gravesite with flowers, attending a parade, making a donation to an organization that benefits veterans, etc. There is something else that we all can do, regardless of bandwidth, physical or financial ability. There is a moment of silence at 3:00PM today to mark a nationwide moment of remembrance. Conceivably, whole sections of this country could fall silent for a long moment at the top of four straight hours, to remember our war dead. Let’s do what we can to remember at that time to pause, consider and reflect, with our other fellow citizens, on the lives lost to ensure we have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Very well said. I feel sad for those poor and working class soldiers who fought and died to defend the "opulent minority," as James Madison, the father of our Constitution referred to himself and his wealthy friends. I hope the wealthiest in this country reflect on that and decide to pay their fair share of taxes and stop sucking the fruits of America's labor up to top for themselves. But they would have to have a conscience. They are shameless.